Sound of Silence and Sibilance

An early lesson in filmmaking is that an audience will forgive, ignore, or simply not notice when there's a mistake in the visual part of the film. The brain easily ignores mistakes in images. But audible mistakes, pops, hisses, volume spikes or drops, will always yank dreamy movie-goers out of whatever fantasy the director created and back into annoying reality.

The penchant that sound has for demanding absolute attention can be illustrated by running your nails down a chalkboard vs watching somebody do that without sound. Both suck, but which would you suffer if you had to suffer one or the other?

If you want to annoy somebody, over-sibilant your consonants like one of those poets you might have heard at a hip coffee house in the 80's (yeah, I'm that old).

I'd repeat an 80's poem, but you'd turn this off before I got to the second line. I never did read my own. Too scared.

More than a literary device, sibilance is a pain in the ear. And ears are important to people. Indeed, in a study a few years ago more people said they'd rather go blind than deaf.

Sound is, of course, physically intrusive. There are waves of particles entering your body through your ear hole, whether you like it or not. Your eyes, you can close those, but you've got to laboriously shut your ears with your hands to keep sound out.

And you've only got two hands for two ears, so then you're stuck like the hear-no-evil monkey until the sound stops.

Ears have vestigial muscles in them, auricular muscles that may have allowed our ancestors to move their ears, may even have made closing the ear with that flap toward the nose side of your head, called the Tragus, a possibility.

How great would that be? You could just shut your ear hole and tune out, man, while you kept at whatever your hands were doing.

We're inundated with noise. There's always a hum, a drip, a drop, or tick, or click going on. highways, buildings, people, whatever, it's all making noise.There's always noise. Even our breaks from it all are usually just retreats to some form of regimented sound--music, podcasts, audio books.

Audio book and podcast consumption is growing dramatically, even as print book sales also continue up, though print growth is at a much slower rate. Interesting to note that the brain discerns no difference between read and listened to books. Kind of sad, but true.

But, that's only for the word conceptualizing gray matter bits. You know how the lab folk need to reduce everything to study it. So the studies on books, audio vs read, are reduced to things like word conception, which gives us no data on the esoteric and beautiful moments one has while reading for real in the real world. Nothing beats the feel of paper or the rhythm of a turned page, in my book.

pa dumb dumb

Take that pun and stick in your study Western reductionist absolutist neuroscientists!

There are conflicting ideas about how to break up a dog fight. Some say you should scream, or yell, or grunt really loudly, that that will break the dog's process enough, confuse them enough, to get them apart. I've actually seen this work at a dog park. But then the flipside is that the dogs, already adrenaline fueled, may turn on the person making the noise and attack.

I was taught to dump water on the dogs when they fought, or spray it in the face of the dog that was obviously winning. Water always worked. I think the trick was to essentially waterboard the dog, get him to breath in some of it, and that would end the fight right there.

You learn a lot growing up in the country.

I knew a guy who had been an alternate to the Olympics in Kaju-gem-judo-furro-rate, or whatever. I really can't remember what it is. God, I sound like a racist. I'm going to have to ecosia it. gah. I looked it up. Taekwondo.

I asked him to attack me like he would in a taekwondo tournament, except without the actual hitting part. He moved really fast, but it was his scream that really threw me. I mean, my mind kind of shut and I suspect I looked like a stunned rabbit to him. The sound was so unexpected. It was pretty disconcerting.

I said 'ecosia it' instead of 'google it' because I despise all monopolies. Ecosia is a search engine that uses it's money to plant trees. When you use it the initial search results will seem quite different from what you're used to. That probably says more about the way google defines you than you define yourself.

The other thing I found out when I was trying to not be a racist was that Karate will be in the Olympics in 2020. Two types, Kata and Kumite. Kata are forms, or precise displays of a series of movements and poses. Think your hippie aunt's Tai Chi class but a little quicker and a little more deadly looking.

I tried a few karate classes when I got to college. At my first class the instructor told me to punch him as hard as I could in the stomach. Seriously. I think he was trying to prove to everybody how tough he was. So I hauled off and punched him like I'd been taught, from the hips, use your legs and back, and he screamed and gasped for a bit and then had to leave.

There is definitely an animal power to that kind of scream. I'm imaging that it signals meal time for a predator. Yeah, I don't think I'll be screaming to stop a dog fight now that i put these events together.

The last time I went to a karate class some dude followed me out afterwards because he wanted to show me his Kata--that series of forms. I politely watched but I was really embarrassed. It seems silly now as I look back at my mortified self thirty years ago. I should have been, I dunno, more generous with this guy who obviously spent a great deal of time on his karate. I realize now that it wasn't this guy doing his kata for me in front of passersby that embarrassed me, it was the silence.

Human movement without sound. That's something that will catch your breath.

The Olympians in the Kumite class of karate at the Tokyo Olympics won't have to suffer screaming like caught prey because they won't actually be hitting each other. They'll fight, but they're supposed to be in such great control that they can strike a fatal looking blow, but arrest it millimeters from the target organ or throat or primary sexual characteristic. I dunno. I kind of love that Japanese ethic of display over blood.

Of course, where's the sumo, folks? I mean, is there a more Japanese sport than sumo? Have you ever watched a full sumo basho, or tournament? And I mean, not just the actual battles but all the elaborate posturing and salt throwing that precedes a bout? It's fantastic.

First and most gorgeous is the Gyōji. That's the person in the elaborate kimono who waves a fan and makes all kinds of amazing sounds between and at the outset of matches. In other words, the referee. I know he would make much more sense if I understood Japanese, but really, you don't have to understand Japanese to understand what he's saying. Because the way he says it is so profoundly Japanese Gothic, no, that's not it. The way the Gyoji introduces the matches, though I'm not sure that's what their doing, but it's like Japanese music written by Wittgenstein.

If you don't get the reference look up Wittgenstein's house, it's the structural equivalent of German engineering meeting Japanese Aesthetic and then somehow, improbably, something beautifully alive comes out of it, but sad at the same time.

The word 'sad' drips too much. Beautifully alive, precise, with a minor third dinking away in another room, maybe that's a better description of Wittgenstein's house.

I worked in a performing arts theater in the summers of my youth. And I was privy to many rehearsals as I variously cleaned, fixed, and goofed off there.

I had the liberty to just sit in the house sometimes and so I'd often watch rehearsals, especially the local ballet dancers--hey, I was a teen boy in the days before toxic masculinity had been defined as toxic. So it would be just me in the back row, near the exit, in the dark, and a few people from the show somewhere near the front row who were resting and/or directing, and then whoever was on stage doing their thing.

One of the most powerful performances I've seen on stage I watched this way. Just me in the dark. It was dancers from Martha Graham's touring company rehearsing before a show. They were going through their movements in total silence. But it wasn't really silence. Even from the back row I could hear the sounds of their bodies, feet padding, the swish of cloth, their breath. When they stopped, posed at the end, I felt like I could hear their sweat droplets hitting the dance floor.

For a few months during one of my many 'run away, run away' life events, I found myself working at the PBS station in Lexington, Kentucky. I was the overnight guard. The only bloke in the place from midnight until six a.m. I had to walk the entire thing on the hour every hour to check for intruders, and the place was big. Big, and dark, and silent, with hallways and closets and a nightmare of a sound stage.

In my mind I even remember a skeleton in one of the offices. A friggin real skeleton.

The sound stage there is impressive and built to strangle sound and squash light. So walking into that huge room, black as black, weighted with the silence of the dead, always felt like stepping into a coffin. I shouldn't say 'always' because I only did it once, the first night I worked there.

I checked the other rooms less and less as the month passed and finally ended up just staying at the front desk the entire night. Nothing in that place was worth getting shot over anyway, let alone getting eaten by a demon for.

I used to think I'd like to see a ghost. At least if you really saw a ghost you'd know for sure that there was something more to this life than a temporary exchanging of chemicals in a somewhat self-aware state and then back to atoms in the void. I don't think that a ghost would need to make any sound to scare the shit out of you.

Sound always accompanies life. A silent ghost would be more frightening than one moaning at you because in total silence your ears would be begging for sound of any kind to make the apparition more lifelike.

Death is the only thing that's truly silent. If you've seen a body you know what stillness is. The same is true with life and sound, they are the same. Only death parts them. If you've seen a body you know what silence is, too.

Putin’s Prison Win

It’s always interesting to see how other country’s view ours. Russia’s state media organ, RT, offers propaganda mixed with facts. It spins sham with shame into a universe of plausible deniability for some of us, and seeming hopelessness for others of us.

An RT piece about Russian agitator, and burgeoning US Republican Party superhero, Maria Butina (link) lauds the fortitude she displayed while behind bars in US prisons. At the same time it harshly, and correctly, criticizes the stupid brutality of the US penal system.

Sadly, RT’s claims about our prisons are demonstrable. They ring the same dark tone as thousands of other US prison stories.

I’m reminded of Tim DeChristopher who spent three years in a Federal prison for non-violent environmental activism. After serving his sentence he said that the US prison system is filled with psychopaths and 90% of those are employees.

I know why we face these massive challenges, the failing systems, the seemingly real but mostly imagined divisions, the degradations of the environment, the privatizing of the commons, the suppression of the national conscience. I know why we are sliding down the slug’s trail psychologists call ethical fading: we are crumbling morally and physically because we are ruled by monopolies.

And that’s really it. It is that simple. Monopolies rule. Plutocrats are your betters. And any power structure that might venture an argument otherwise must be crushed in its infancy.

At the moment, quarterly profits are the only American ethics and money is the only freedom really worth fighting for.

We have been here before. J.P. Morgan, Rockefeller, Mellon, et al, once ruled our country as viciously and condescendingly as any of our current plutocrats. Tricks of luck, violence, and legislation in the early decades of the last century shoved them back into whatever dark, lonely pit that mindset comes from and let democracy have a try at governing again.

There for awhile America had a shot at being great, not just for the wealthy, for everybody.

But once more the Rubicon has been crossed. US democracy, birthed a eunuch but occasionally an effective buerocrat, is currently impotent against the monopoly powers that rule our day to day lives.

It’s hard to place just when the latest crop of Corporate Caesars became inevitable. Was it a court decision? Some innocuous seeming bit of legislation? The SCOTUS Chakrabarty decision, Bush v Gore, and Clinton’s media deregulation come immediately to my mind. But none of those seems enough to explain our current reality. They are more symptoms than cause.

I suspect there is an unheralded, set of functionary decisions that were made decades before Bush v Gore crowned the monopolist’s coup. Back there somewhere, before Clinton became President, somewhere in the reams of federal legislation there are clues to what let loose the fierce careers of the current gilded aristocrats.

There is a moment, I’m sure, where some confused champion of the little guy, a pre Clinton Clinton, a plebeian believer in the wonders of the free market, there is for sure a moment when a would be ‘people’s’ Henry V swung a sledgehammer at the walls of our democracy, yelling the sad, easy tropes of ‘free markets’ and ‘deregulation’, ‘rational choice,’ saying, what say you, will you yield? Or guilty in defense be thus destroyed? 

And American democracy yielded and was destroyed.

Russia, currently ruled by the most rational of autocrats since Catherine the Great let Voltaire kiss her feet, wins a reward much greater than the division it has sowed among us when it prints demonstrable truths about our prison.

Nobody here  pretends Russian prisons are models of decency. But, now we can’t feign ignorance at our own failures. By accepting them, rather than addressing them as we might do in a functioning democracy, we become them.

Perhaps this is why one of our major political parties is cozying up to Russia. Is it a way to excuse our own failings, a mea culpa of a sort? Is the GOP’s sudden love of Russia just a bold whataboutism?

I don’t believe it’s more sinister than that, at least among those outside of Trump’s immediate circle. Propaganda becomes projection. Projection becomes common cause, after all.

Russian propaganda, printed by RT or screamed and finger-pointed at female American Ambassadors during Federal Government proceedings, has become more difficult to parse from our reality simply because our reality is Russian propaganda. 

Ridgefield Blotter Nov. 9-15

Funny thing, I did the blotter a few weeks ago and soon realized that I would probably not continue with it after a couple of goes as it actually takes a bit of time and, really, there's just not much crime to write about (plus, provinces..,) But then the City decided to redact what should be publicly available information and I found myself stuck in this dumb fight that I now have to see through to the end.

Irony can wrinkle, can't it?

I asked for the full police report on the security guard at the high school as well as a couple of other full police reports, and the City decided to notify the people in those police reports before they will consider releasing the reports to us.

BLOTTER
11/09, 12:53 am, a driver took out a lighpole with a car. car totaled. Closed, Cited by Infraction.

11/11, 3:09 pm, Someone found a firearm, reported it. Turned out to be stolen.

11/13, 8:44 pm, on 11/13 a driver was stopped for no trailer lights, arrested for DWLS III.

11/14, 3:50 pm, A person called to say an ex-employee was harassing the person. Alleged harasser was called and told to stop harassing. Closed.

Aaaand that's all folks.

Podcast with Washington State Rep Gina Mosbrucker (R-14) on Domestic Violence

I spoke with Rep Mosbrucker on the great work she's doing to address Domestic Violence and missing and murdered indigenous women and children. It was a good discussion. I hope you'll listen to the podcast or watch the youtube.

Links from the discussion

Representative Mosbrucker's website (HERE)

Clark College periodical 'Partners Magazine' article featuring Rep Mosbrucker (HERE)

Rep Mosbrucker's legislative news including links to some of the legislation discussed (HERE)

The news release of the poster legislation (HERE)

Required to display at Washington Businesses Domestic Violence English poster pdf (HERE)

Requerido para exhibir en el póster de violencia doméstica de las empresas de Washington pdf (AQUÍ)

Ridgefield Blotter November 2 thru 8, 2019

A slight change is in order. I want to highlight particularly important issues at the top of the blotter, so the first item on this one is out sequence.

I wish I'd opened the police report the moment I got it. I should have reported it here and also let other news outlets know about what the Security Guard at Ridgefield High School allegedly did immediately.

THE BLOTTER
11/7, 2:07 pm, Case #19000479, Type: SEX OFFENSE, "The security officer at the high school asked a minor female for her SnapChat and then asked her to exchange explicit photos. He then followed and surveiled the female and her minor female friend on several occasions, placing them in fear. He was cited by mail (address redacted by the City of Ridgefield).

11/2, 12:08 pm, An offspring up and offed with the family Toyota Camry sans permission, apparently for an as yet unended (at time of reporting) jaunt to Portland. The Camry was listed as 'stolen' in the system.

11/0, 9:27, redacted text.

11/3, 1:02 am, A 19 year-old victim was brought to Legacy Salmon Creek for a possible sexual assault. At the time of reporting, victim did not recall where the incident took place, but she lives in Ridgefield. Upon investigation, it was determined the sexual assault occurred in Portland, Oregon. Information provided to PPB and courtesy report taken.

11/3, 10:01 pm. On 11/4, a woman was arrested inside her vehicle for an outstanding misdemeanor warrant for assault IV-Domestic Violence. Subject was transported and booked in the Clark County Jail.

(Writer's note: It's in the public's interest to know if this is the same female who allegedly, on October 18 of this year, 'repeatedly pounded on the door and called and text' a woman who had a lawful restraining order against her husband and anyone acting on his behalf. I'm not able to make that determination from this report as a lot of usually publicly available information has been redacted by the City of Ridgefield).

11/4, 8:41 pm, N 1st Circle, driver stop lead to arrest for DLWS and misdemeanor warrant. Vehicle impounded.

11/5, 10 pm, S. 46th Place, a female suspect was cited and arrested for hitting her boyfriend about the neck and head with a large bed frame post. The suspect then hit the stepchild in the face. Two counts of IV-Domestic Violence.

11/6, 6:42 am, a male attempted suicide near his mother's grave. He was transported to the hospital for evaluation.

11/7, 7:30 am, an unlicensed dude appeared to be trying to show off (my interpretation, not the reporting officer's) by riding 'negligently' near the high school on an unregistered and uninsured red motorcycle as students were leaving. The motorcycle had 'switched plates' which were seized and logged into evidence. Closed, Cited by Infraction.

11/7, 9:27 am, N Noble Loop, Domestic Violence--Info, a spouse locked out of the house a smoking person who was allegedly making the dogs bark who was also his wife.  Domestic Violence--Information. Closed--Not an Offense.

11/7, 2:23 pm, A person left a note indicating that they 'could not do this anymore,' and left all personal property at the residence and drove off in their vehicle. Their information was broadcast countywide, as well as provided to BOEC. The person returned late that night.

11/7, 9:30 pm, Runaway report of juvenile. Open as of reviewing this report.

11/8, 8:23 am, Domestic Violence--information at this time, Girlfriend called to say boyfriend took her phone. He was contacted and returned the phone but accused her of damaging his car. Officer was unable to determine who actually damaged the car, or if there was intent to steal the phone.

11/8, 8:54 am, N 1st Cir, the window glass on the front door was damaged when a customer exited the business. The customer was driving a white, late-model Chevrolet extended cab truck. It is not clear if the customer knew he damaged the door glass. Closed. Suspended. Inactive.

(Writer's note: The City of Ridgefield redacted the address of the above business for "privacy" reasons. The City is redacting all addresses on all police reports, as well as other information that would normally be openly accessible to the public. If you're interested in what legally constitutes an 'unreasonable invasion' of privacy in Washington, the term was defined by the Washington Supreme Court in Hearst Corp v Hoppe, case 45379.)

11/8, 7:24 pm, Domestic Violence--information, Spousal verbal disturbance. Closed--Not an Offense.

NOT THE BLOTTER
As I said at the top, I wish I'd reported the information about the alleged Sex Offense at Ridgefield High School the moment I received the report from the City.

I didn't do that because I didn't open the report immediately. When I received the report via email I didn't open it at first because I knew I'd be grumpy at what I assumed, correctly, would be on the report--metastasizing, blacked out redactions.

And it should be noted that the Ridgefield Police Department provided the report in a timely fashion.

But, my own fear and assumptions of anger at what the City hopes to keep secret should not have kept me from immediately seeing (and thus reporting) this information. I apologize. You had the right to know about the Sex Offense and alleged offender as soon as it was available to me.

If you're interested in open government and the public's right to know, PM me here, or comment most civilly below, or send me an email chrisrushdudley at g mail dot com.

Thanks. This blog is also available at CrisisCycling.com

Ridgefield Blotter 10/19 to 11/01 2019

First some notes:

I haven't picked up an AP Style book in years, as in it was a book. So, be forgiving of

style and grammar errors, please. Though I appreciate corrections.

There are some attempts at inside jokes. If you missed the last two blotters it's either

that or my writing that's confusing you.

THE BLOTTER

10/20, 12:05 am, a person called about a verbal disturbance they were engaged in with
their significant other who may or may not have had an affair with another person. Closed.
Not an offense.

10/20, 4:07 pm, a person called about wishes of their and their family’s murder that were
made over Facebook from someone (or post from a FB group or FB page) in Wyoming.
Closed. Not an offense.

10/21, 7:25 am, driver committed unnecessary loss of traction. The car’s safety system
were then tested against the staying power of a tree. Driver cited for violation of Intermediate
Driver’s Restrictions, and lying and/or providing misleading statements to a public servant.
No word on the car vs tree outcome.

10/21, 9:49 am, the 18 year-old child of a woman threw a game controller at her, fracturing
her eye socket. The 18 year-old was transported and booked into Clark County Jail for
Assault, 2nd Degree.

NOTE on this report: This writer is curious about this incident. Alleged perpetrator is an
adult. I considered contacting Clark County Jail to get the name of the person booked into
jail. I certainly would not print it here, but only because I live in such a small town.

Personally, I land on the public’s right to know side in this case. It could make an interesting
discussion point for this blotter, if you’re interested in discussing privacy vs the public good
in a small town).

10/21, 4:15 pm, A dog escaped its yard and acted aggressively toward a pedestrian and the
pedestrian’s dog. Dog owner given a verbal warning. The incompetent yard escaped citation.

10/21, 10:10 pm, (Yeah, I’m just going to copy this straight from the police report, very slightly
edited for clarification)

The officer wrote: While entering I5 Northbound at MP 14 with my lights and sirens activated,
a vehicle failed to yield. I passed the vehicle on the right and it accelerated to keep up with
me. My call response changed and I turned off my emergency lights except for the rears. 

The vehicle then accelerated very close to my patrol car. I began to slow and turned off the
rear lights. The vehicle passed me and I paced it at 98 MPH. I attempted to stop the vehicle
as we got close to the Woodland exit. I activated my lights and siren again and it fled at a high
rate of speed, blowing the light at the end of the off-ramp.

The vehicle fled up NW Hayes Road and I terminated the pursuit. It was last seen passing
Backman Road at approximately 120 MPH. I got a look at the driver when she passed me
on the freeway and it matched the registered owner of the vehicle. There is PC to arrest her
for reckless driving and eluding.

10/22, 11:15 pm, a high speed driver damaged the mirror of a security guard’s car in a parking
lot off Pioneer and then fled the scene. The security guard said the mirror damaging car’s
occupants were impaired. The car was later located north of La Center, driver matched the
description and was later cited by mail via Battle Ground Court.

10/24, 6:54 pm, N 3rd, A neighbor backing his car into his driveway ran over the foot of a
juvenile, then went into his house without knowing he’d run over the foot of the juvenile.
A parent transported the juvenile to the hospital for the injury. Closed, not an offense.

10/26, 7:56 pm, two cans of Mike’s Hard alcohol were liberated from the Vicious Cold Evil
Coolers (VCEC’s) of the AM-PM by a kind soul. Sadly, they didn’t stay free long because
their liberator forgot to wear his Vive la Libation balaclava during the escape and he was
spotted at Papa Pete’s Pizza soon thereafter. The Manumitter of Mike Magnificence had
hoped to introduce them to a slice of pizza within the confines of his warm tummy. Instead,
he was cited for Theft 3. Sadly, The two cans were shown no mercy, and were sent back
to their cold, cold VCEC at AM-PM.

10/27, 7:03 pm, S Fieldcrest Drive, A Trek mountain bike valued at $1,000 was stolen from
a backyard. A suspicious blue Ford Explorer was seen in the area earlier, as well as a male
on a bike possibly matching the stolen bike. The incompetent back yard was not cited.
Closed. Suspend/Inactive.

10/29, 11:34 pm, S Hillhurst, someone stole some energy drinks from an unsecure
concession stand at the rec center. Fingerprints were taken (and possibly some late
night homework was completed--but probably not). Closed. Suspend/Inactive.

10/30, 1:21 pm, distracted driver drove into the back of a stopped driver waiting to make
a left turn.

10/30, 3:44 pm, fraud committed via bitcoin transactions. Citizen scammed out of
approximately $14,000 in US currency. Apparently the scammers are outside the USA.
Closed. Suspend/Inactive.

11/01, 8:08 am, a person said they were going to hurt themself, later located with injury
to an eye, transported to the hospital for treatment. Closed. Not an offense.

11/01, 4:45 pm, a trick or treating juvenile was bitten by a small dog. Owner given ten
day quarantine notice. Closed. Not an offense.

There were two cars impounded for having been abandoned during the blotter time period.
What’s up Ridgefield? Think of the cars, people! Maybe I should start a foundation for
neglected cars.

NOT THE BLOTTER

An alcohol permit was requested for a restaurant called, if memory serves, Burgers and
Brews, for the location next to the Corner Store. If I remember I’ll post a pic of the permit
notice in the comments.

The driver of a white toyota truck left a couple of what appeared to be long, circuitous
burn-out tracks in the gravel at Abram’s parking lot before having their front right wheel
pretty much fall off, making the vehicle inoperable. There’s no way to know with specificity
what happened, but it was either bad luck, bad maintenance,  or, well, uhm, KARMA!
I have a pic, but don’t want to take the time to fuzz out the license plate and I probably
shouldn’t post it, anyway.

In the contested races which I paid attention to, congratulations to the newly elected City
Councilors Rob Aichele and Dana Ziemer, as well as incumbent Sandra Day for their
victories in last week’s election. Kudo’s, too, to Scott Hughes who won the Port race.

MMR Domestic Violence Podcast

This is a recording of our panel discussion held after we screened the film 'LoveStruck' at The Old Liberty Theater in Ridgefield, Washington. The film is available (link) in three parts on youtube for free.


We are so fortunate to have resources like the Pathways to Healing Program through the Cowlitz Indian Tribe and the SafeChoice Domestic Violence Program at the YWCA. Our three guest speakers educated us about these programs and the challenges that people experiencing domestic violence face. I wish that we had a larger audience for their important message but perhaps you will note this information and share with people who may need it. 

Love/Struck is available to view for free on YouTube. It is 3 short films. Even if you personally have not experienced domestic violence, it is worth your time to understand how it happens and how it may be impacting the people around you. Check back at https://crisiscycling.blogspot.com/ for the audio version of the post film conversation, it should be posted later this week. To see a written synopsis by Rheta Rubenstein, see the attachment below. 

For next month on the 27th, we have an excellent, thought provoking film "In Pursuit of Silence". You will never think of noise the same way again! Our guest speaker is my dad, Paul Donavan, ScD. He is the Secretary General of the International Institute of Noise Control Engineers and will be reporting on field measurements of noise around Ridgefield. We are also looking for speakers from the world of meditation and wildlife biologists to round out the discussion.

NOTES

Love/Struck

Meaningful Movies in Ridgefield

2019 10 23

Notes from Film

Love/Struck is a documentary of interviews related to domestic violence (DV).  

Voices of adult survivors:

• I could black out as a survival mechanism.  I could live and suffer.
• He was the income provider.  He was very controlling. If he made me angry, then I could be the initiator.  I didn’t know better. I thought that’s how relationships work.
• He’d tell me how to dress.  I did not know it was DV. I had other friends who experienced similar things so I thought it was normal.
• You don’t realize until you get to a point of no return
• [male victim]: Given the general perception that victims are women, will a 12 year old boy come forward?
• I blamed myself.
• I lost my friends because he was my whole life.
• I overlooked the bad because I loved him so much.
• Even years after I left, feelings would come up again.
• You love someone but not their behavior.  If you leave, you leave both, even though it is only the behavior you wish would change. “I want the violence to stop; I don't want to lose him.”
• When you are scared and in that moment, there is no right answer.
• You never fully leave. A part of you is still there.
• I thought, ‘I am strong and I am smart.  I can change him.’

Voices of perpetrators:

• I thought I was like the heroes in black exploitation films.
• I did not realize what I was doing was wrong; I thought that was how relationships were.
• I do things I don’t like myself for doing.

Voices of youth:

• My Dad was himself a childhood abuse survivor.
• The raft trip (at camp) was the most memorable experience.
• [Camp Hope]  I came the first year, the next year my brother came, the third year both my brother and sister came.  It was good for all of us.

Voices of support persons (social workers, researchers, psychologists, support persons at shelters, etc.)

• The study of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) shows that ACEs reap impacts across a person’s life. If we want to end domestic violence, we need to work against the root causes. 
• An 8 year old cannot run away. If abuse is at the hands of a significant member of society, then a child is not believed.  (“You imagined/dreamt it.”)
• DV escalates gradually.  People become isolated from their friends and support system.
• Class doesn’t matter.  Perpetrator can be business executive, athlete, professor, white, black, native American, rich, poor, male or female.
• [Camp Hope director, former prosecutor]:  We are never going to prosecute our way out of this problem.  These are not kids who are in trouble; these are troubled kids.
• There is internalized rage.
• Child victims must be told their response is normal.  “You are having a normal reaction to intense stress.”
• A child may not have language to say what happened, especially for sexual abuse.
• People married or got together for a reason.  There is/was something attractive, caring in that person before or sometimes now. Outsiders say, just walk away.  It is not that simple.  
• Latinx fear ICE, language barrier, discrimination.  They are very reluctant to report.
• If a man attempts to strangle a woman, he is highly likely to try to kill her another time.
• Don’t be sorry, help! Don’t be a short-term helper.  Hang in.
• Men who strangle have very high trauma (ACE) scores.
• Shelter is just a very small first step.
• There need to be resources before shelter, to be ready to leave.
• [Camp Hope director] We pay $50K per year to incarcerate someone in CA.  This 1 week camp plus follow-up year-round support for kids costs $1000-1500 per year per child.
• The problem is intergenerational.

Other:

• Social workers teach about healthy relationships, unhealthy relationships, abusive relationships.  Last distinction is related to frequency of hitting or worse. Boundaries are important.
• There were intermittent data facts.  A few: There are 20,000 calls daily to domestic violence hot-lines in the US.  30-60% of children in abusive homes suffer abuse themselves. Men who strangle are 800 times more likely to kill than those who do not.
• There were stories of police saying extraordinarily inappropriate things. [“This house is too clean for there to be DV here.”]

Community Conversation

Guest Speakers:

Karyn Kameroff is an enrolled member of the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma. She is currently the Community Coordinator for Pathways to Healing, a program with the Cowlitz Indian Tribe providing services to victims of crime. 

Kacee Cohen is the Director of the SafeChoice Domestic Violence Program at the YWCA Clark County

Ana Sifuentes is the Bilingual Outreach Specialist and Legal Clinic Coordinator for the SafeChoice Domestic Violence Program at the YWCA Clark County

Quick notes of the evening:

Chris Dudley, moderator, asked for initial reactions.

Karyn said that four of five native American women experience violence, including Karyn who, with her son, is a 21-year survivor.  This is an epidemic. She said the film was spot on. Soon one of her organizations will roll out an effort to locate missing and murdered children.  Even though the program is not yet official, two families have already been in touch.

Ana said it was hard to watch.  It is very difficult to leave one of these relationships.  There are many reasons to stay. And once someone leaves, it gets harder before it gets better.  And going back is worse than not having left. There are barriers – you need resources to support yourself and your kids.  

Chris recommended a powerful podcast that explained why it is so hard to leave.

One audience member told a painful personal story.  Among other things the police caused more trauma. And they lied to her that she would be required to pay an extraordinary sum to get a rape kit run for a child.  Karyn explained this is nonsense. Victims do not need to pay. Get in touch with Children’s Justice Center.

Another participant said that not being believed is very hard.  It takes great courage to speak up.

Megan asked for participants to explain their programs.  

SafeChoice at YWCA has a large array of services for people who have experienced past or current violence.  These include social services, an emergency shelter, support groups, 24-7 hot-line, legal support, family law services, bilingual advocates, advocacy for LGBTQ people, re-entry programs.  They meet the survivor where they are and address their priorities.

Pathways to Healing provides services to persons who are themselves in a federally recognized tribe or in a family with someone who is.  These include transitional housing, days of healing, therapists, the full spectrum of medicine wheel practices for healing and prevention.  They are currently providing training for Ilani employees to learn to identify signs of trafficking and violence. They provide 24-hr public safety officers at the casino.

Suggestions for talking to someone in DV situation:

How are you doing?  Do you want to talk?  Offer information but in a way that it won’t be discovered by the partner at home.  Contact a program that works with survivors. Don’t abandon your friend. Stick with them.  Try to get help, if possible, before the situation is dire. With early intervention people can set up a secret bank account, find housing, change job locations, and then walk away. 

One participant asked about training police.  

Vancouver recently got a large grant to work on this.  Karyn attended some police conferences which was challenging but valuable.  Attendees included judges and prosecutors. There were knowledgeable facilitators, but in small group work, some officer’s poor attitudes were revealed.  It was an opportunity to get her program known. The goal was for officers to enforce the laws but still be supportive of survivors.  

Panelist said that despite her doing this work for years, there is so much to still learn.  The SafeChoice staff come to police roll calls and explain services the Y provides. There is a chance for officers to ask Qs.  Their awareness is being increased.

There was a Q re ICE.  This is a very real and legitimate fear in Latinx community.  People do not want to call the police. Instead they call family, friends, church members.  

Another Q was about schools.  Panelist encouraged schools to partner with agency staff.  Converse. Explore what would be supportive for faculty. Problem solve jointly after listening to the teachers.  The Y can make presentations at schools. They even have prevention programs for teens and pre-teens. Teachers need to understand that trauma looks and manifests differently for different children.  We need to look at root causes. Teachers need to be educated about ACEs. They need to be aware that even school activities may trigger past trauma. 

Karyn noted that Restorative Justice is based on indigenous values and practices – not linear, but communal, with elders, aiming to rebuild relationships, without shame, and accountability that is relevant to the issue.  For example see the Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians PeaceMaker Court. https://www.choctaw.org/government/court/peace.html

Why has DV increased?  Our society is predicated on power and oppression, We need to break the cycle.  Police, legal system, educators, all need to be educated and become partners. We all need awareness of our emotions and strategies to calm ourselves down.  We need to support whole communities – parents, children, extended families. We need to be aware of language and how it affects behavior.

“Hurt people hurt people.”  It is easier to hurt others when you feel disconnected.

Brené Brown is a suggested resource.  See her TED talks and other resources online.

See also Casey Gwinn, Hope Rising.

How do community members learn to hold one another accountable (families, classrooms, work places)? What can I do for my family or for you to help make things right?  We need to think of community, not just individuals.

Social media support gender violence.  Call out inappropriate behavior, but not so that people shut down.